Written on Saturday, January 02, 2010 12:18 AM

I just had a really long chat over the phone with someone i havent exactly spoken to in a really long time due to a misunderstanding
and it really does feel good.
Like somehow everything is falling back into place,
into friendly territory in a sense.

Stuff happened today, well yesterday to be exact
and it really made me wonder whether i'm meant to do what I'm doing now.
Sometimes when you take one step forward, after a while it seems like you're flying a thousand steps back and honestly, it's disappointing.It's damn disappointing.
I guess all i can do now is pray about it cause honestly, i cant do much about it now.
I wish that they could just understand that I'm trying to be their friend...
I guess somehow the way we went about it was a tad too aggressive... now i'll just focus on being a good friend.

Someone messaged me bout someone very dear to me today.
His exact words were "dont you think it's time to salvage the relationship between you two?"
Somehow i dunno.
I think i'm afraid of even facing the problem...
furthermore there are others out there who like her have chosen to just abandon me and disappear from my life without a word.
Am i hesitant to reach out for her hand once again because i'm afraid of getting hurt?
Or is it because I'm scared of pushing her further away?
Or is it because I'm afraid that when I see her I won't know what to say?
Maybe it's one of them or maybe it's all..
I dunno.

But it's the year 2010 and I'm gonna make it the best year yet.
I'm gonna be stronger.
I'm gonna be more patient.
I'm gonna be more mature.
I'm gonna be more positive.
I'm gonna make a difference in the lives of others.
I'm gonna be a better friend.
I'm gonna grow close to God.
I'm gonna trust and obey in what God wants for me in life.

Above all else, I'm gonna stay happy. I will.