Written on Friday, April 11, 2008 9:00 PM

it's weird how i get the sudden urge to blog
and promise myself to keep at it
yet over time, choose to ignore this whole process although i am on the comp 24/7.
well yeah.

TOMORROW'S DRAGONBOAT NATS!
LET'S GO GIRLS!
LET'S GO AC!
we can do it!

im all geared up.
judging by the number of competitions i've been taking part within this short span of time,
i think....
i'm gonna be immune to it soon.
MAYBE.

i've been thinking lately..
sand said im quite a sapXD
and i know it's true cause i always cant let go of people, of things.
till now,
im still missing SC3 although i still see them around school
and IM LOVING 1SCONE SO MUCH.
is it bad for me to give my all into my friendships
to let the relationships with people bind deeply into my heart
that when they leave
my heart tears?
is it bad?
should i be someone who can let go easily?
i find it hard to be in between.
i find it so so hard.
i want to love God faithfully
and love people fervently.
i think i do.
but do i overdo it?
do i?

another thing,
im feeling so confused now...
i know i said i would be happy and that i would forget but i cant.
i guess i will be happy but im really not pleased with myself
they all say that im ok, that im doing well
but then why dont i feel the same way?
sometimes after something, i feel so insanely happy and the happiness does last for quite a while.
Then, the sadness sets in again.

anyway..
today was a pretty moderate day.
it was really good in the morning cause we had SWIM PE!!!!
oh gosh i love it.
it's really the best way for active recovery.
my muscles all feel nice and ready.
however,
all the lessons after that were such a drag
and the fatigue set in again.
we spent the whole day in hunger...
kinda.

then after school,
i met wanmei
and together with jiayi, we went to stone at the canteen and eat waffles.
WE MET WEIRD PEOPLE ON THE WAY HOME.
DAMN DAMN WEIRD.
freaked us out real bad.

on my way to meet mummy for dinner,
this mother and son came onto the bus.
her son was a toddler..
once she set him down,
he stood on the chair and looked at me.
when i smiled at him he laughed a JOYFUL LAUGH!
then he started to hide his face and i'll comply by kinda looking for him
and then he'll laugh somemore!
he did this for the whole fifteen mins.
he made my day.
he really did.
and when he was leaving,
he looked really sad at me and waved goodbye.
i waved and was blown away when he blew me a kiss.
HE BLEW ME A KISS!
my heart melted.
it's weird how strangers always impact your life...
the people you dont know,
who walk by your life,
sometimes can change your life more than your friends can.
i know i'll never forget that little boy
although im sure he'll forget me.

hmm...
i wanted to post pictures of some stuff
but i guess it'll take too darn long.
maybe another time.
when the urge to blog strikes again..

to end this post off,
something from mrs kelivna chan's devotion today...
"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS JANE CHECKING IN TODAY."

Daddy God, am i doing enough?
am i doing what's right?
if i am, where are all of them turning away again.
it wasnt meant to be this way...
i'll never blame you Lord
just love you all the way.

and i can never forget..
i really really cant:/